Comments on: Single Mothers http://raisetheirvoice.com Fri, 09 Sep 2011 03:50:14 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: T http://raisetheirvoice.com/30-days-of-prayer-for-the-voiceless/single-mothers/comment-page-1#comment-45 T Mon, 24 Aug 2009 03:23:45 +0000 http://raisetheirvoice.wordpress.com/the-issues/single-mothers/#comment-45 Julie, I was about to submit a saga of my single mother life hoping to find some sort of encouragement. I know you are hoping for someone to provide the secret for happiness and the way...I am touched by your reality and I don't have words to inspire only to let you know you have inspired me today. I went to church today seeking God's wisdom...the message was about answers to our prayers...the response is never a quick definitive only No, Slow, Grow, or Go. Only God knows when your time for your prayers and needs will be answered. I speak this b/c I too am waiting and often tired but I have faith He will be with me and with you even though it may feel the energy and strength to persevere are without reserve. Faith and hope and lots of prayer sound intangible but will reveal tangible for our children. God Bless you. You are an amazing person esp. for 22. Julie, I was about to submit a saga of my single mother life hoping to find some sort of encouragement. I know you are hoping for someone to provide the secret for happiness and the way…I am touched by your reality and I don’t have words to inspire only to let you know you have inspired me today. I went to church today seeking God’s wisdom…the message was about answers to our prayers…the response is never a quick definitive only No, Slow, Grow, or Go. Only God knows when your time for your prayers and needs will be answered. I speak this b/c I too am waiting and often tired but I have faith He will be with me and with you even though it may feel the energy and strength to persevere are without reserve. Faith and hope and lots of prayer sound intangible but will reveal tangible for our children. God Bless you. You are an amazing person esp. for 22.

]]> By: Julie http://raisetheirvoice.com/30-days-of-prayer-for-the-voiceless/single-mothers/comment-page-1#comment-44 Julie Mon, 01 Jun 2009 15:16:37 +0000 http://raisetheirvoice.wordpress.com/the-issues/single-mothers/#comment-44 My name is Julie. I have a 3 year old son and i care for an adoptive cousin (autistic) who is now my brother. I still live with my mother and my father past away 2 months ago at the age of 47 with cancer in his bones. My mom works about 14 hour days and is too busy. I also have to take care of my 76 year old grandmother who has a tumor in her stomach. It just seems like whenever i have an opportunity to get myself on my own two feet something always happeneds. I just lost my father and i dont have the strenght to lose my grandmother and i feel like im slipping with my son. He is only three and i feel just as helpless as he does. It seems like i cant keep up. I want to work and be with just him but I am forever helping everyone else... when all i want to do is just get out of this prison. I know people tell me to just work on myself but its hard (eaisier said than done). Some time i feel like no one understands me. They didnt see the hurt when i had to care for my dad or watch him go or talk to my cousin/brother. They didnt see the tears when my son keeps asking for grandpa. How AM I SUPPOSE to deal with all this. Im only 22. Im suppose to deal with my son and my self not everyone elses problems. I feel trapped. Its my duty and my obligation to take care of the people i love but its tearing me apart. I cant keep living like this. Its fusterating when everyone is against you. I just have nobody else. The rest of my family is still useless. I have no friends that care. I need help and i need help soon! My name is Julie. I have a 3 year old son and i care for an adoptive cousin (autistic) who is now my brother. I still live with my mother and my father past away 2 months ago at the age of 47 with cancer in his bones. My mom works about 14 hour days and is too busy. I also have to take care of my 76 year old grandmother who has a tumor in her stomach. It just seems like whenever i have an opportunity to get myself on my own two feet something always happeneds. I just lost my father and i dont have the strenght to lose my grandmother and i feel like im slipping with my son. He is only three and i feel just as helpless as he does. It seems like i cant keep up. I want to work and be with just him but I am forever helping everyone else… when all i want to do is just get out of this prison. I know people tell me to just work on myself but its hard (eaisier said than done). Some time i feel like no one understands me. They didnt see the hurt when i had to care for my dad or watch him go or talk to my cousin/brother. They didnt see the tears when my son keeps asking for grandpa. How AM I SUPPOSE to deal with all this. Im only 22. Im suppose to deal with my son and my self not everyone elses problems. I feel trapped. Its my duty and my obligation to take care of the people i love but its tearing me apart. I cant keep living like this. Its fusterating when everyone is against you. I just have nobody else. The rest of my family is still useless. I have no friends that care. I need help and i need help soon!

]]> By: leah http://raisetheirvoice.com/30-days-of-prayer-for-the-voiceless/single-mothers/comment-page-1#comment-36 leah Wed, 01 Apr 2009 23:50:49 +0000 http://raisetheirvoice.wordpress.com/the-issues/single-mothers/#comment-36 Hello,I am so glad that i found this website. I am a single mother , recently divorced, raising 3 children ages 1,2,and 8. I did not plan for this to happen to my family. My ex husband just up and walked out on us. I work part-time, attend school full-time. I sometime dont know which way im coming or going. I was looking for advice to help me get through this phase of life. I am 29 yrs old, but my body feels like im 50ys old. I sometimes feel like giving up, no more sick days at work, im one pink slip away from a call off. I dont sleep and when i do I feel like ive done something wrong. Pleas give some advise to a sista! Hello,I am so glad that i found this website. I am a single mother , recently divorced, raising 3 children ages 1,2,and 8. I did not plan for this to happen to my family. My ex husband just up and walked out on us. I work part-time, attend school full-time. I sometime dont know which way im coming or going. I was looking for advice to help me get through this phase of life. I am 29 yrs old, but my body feels like im 50ys old. I sometimes feel like giving up, no more sick days at work, im one pink slip away from a call off. I dont sleep and when i do I feel like ive done something wrong. Pleas give some advise to a sista!

]]> By: April http://raisetheirvoice.com/30-days-of-prayer-for-the-voiceless/single-mothers/comment-page-1#comment-43 April Thu, 22 Jan 2009 06:50:33 +0000 http://raisetheirvoice.wordpress.com/the-issues/single-mothers/#comment-43 Hi, I am also April. And like so many others I did not choose this lifestyle either. I was married to my son's father for three years (with him for 5). I left him because he is abusive. Though I am grateful for my new found freedom, being a single mother to a very young child is so hard. I am also active duty military (marines) and this makes it even harder. No, they do not keep you form deploying or give you special treatment because you have a child !!! (I have done one combat deployment and will be doing more until my time is up) I am not saying they should, but I do get asked this alot. Everyday is stressful. To have back up to my bak up baby-sitter and always wonderig what is going to happen next. Will I need to come in early tomorrow or say late? I worked 24 hours straight last week! I know I shouldn't be complaining. I am lucky. I have medical and a steady paycheck. I just wish there was a support system. I do date sometimes but have found men think of me as the poor lonely single mother steriotype and only want to see me when my son is not with me or asleep which I think is not only innapropriate but also very sad. People tell me all the time that I'm a good mom but somehow I don't think that is completely accurate. I am surviving. Just surviving. Hi, I am also April. And like so many others I did not choose this lifestyle either. I was married to my son’s father for three years (with him for 5). I left him because he is abusive. Though I am grateful for my new found freedom, being a single mother to a very young child is so hard. I am also active duty military (marines) and this makes it even harder. No, they do not keep you form deploying or give you special treatment because you have a child !!! (I have done one combat deployment and will be doing more until my time is up) I am not saying they should, but I do get asked this alot. Everyday is stressful. To have back up to my bak up baby-sitter and always wonderig what is going to happen next. Will I need to come in early tomorrow or say late? I worked 24 hours straight last week! I know I shouldn’t be complaining. I am lucky. I have medical and a steady paycheck. I just wish there was a support system. I do date sometimes but have found men think of me as the poor lonely single mother steriotype and only want to see me when my son is not with me or asleep which I think is not only innapropriate but also very sad. People tell me all the time that I’m a good mom but somehow I don’t think that is completely accurate. I am surviving. Just surviving.

]]> By: April http://raisetheirvoice.com/30-days-of-prayer-for-the-voiceless/single-mothers/comment-page-1#comment-42 April Thu, 27 Nov 2008 15:51:40 +0000 http://raisetheirvoice.wordpress.com/the-issues/single-mothers/#comment-42 Hi, I'm also April (read another post by a mom named April). I can relate to a few of the posts for sure. I am a single mom of a 5 year old beautiful girl (been just me and her for 3 years, except a live-in boyfriend at one point but it didn't end up working out so back to single), and I am trying to reach out and find other single moms who are going through the same things. I work full-time Mon-Fri, 9-5 (administrative assistant) but barely make enough to pay rent and basic necessities. I have been struggling for years and live with daily frustration, feeling overwhelmed, and uncertain of how to get ahead..uncertain as to how to start living instead of surviving, has taken it's toll on me. I hide my tears from my daughter, smiling the usual fake smile that only turns real when she does something funny, cute, or sweet, or loving and squeezes me tight and says she loves me, reminding me why I love her so much. I am in a boring job I hate but I have to stay because of the benefits. I have no family close by (20 hours drive away!), and my friends I have are great but they either cannot help due to their own family issues, or they also live too far. The stress of work/commuting an hour each way on a JAM-packed subway/bus each day is increasingly causing me to grow bitter. I struggle with trying to keep up with rushing to pick her up from daycare (often late which means $1 every minute late), cooking dinners, preparing meals/snacks for lunch, bathtime, bedtime routines, then cleaning up/dealing with stressful bill paying, calling family/friends who are far away to keep in touch (or emailing when my computer works!), and trying to force myself to go to bed early (can't sleep due to stress/worrying/frustration/overwhelmed) and doing it all over again. I get every other weekend free when she is at her dad's (who doesn't pay child support, and who won't sign the custody agreement so I have to pay the lawyer $ to fight that in court now!) and although I appreciate those free weekends, I usually spend it calling people to see if they are free to do something fun (they are usually busy!) so I instead spend it doing what I do during the week..cleaning, playing on the computer or grocery shopping etc. I just realized I have Adult ADHD and it explains a lot about how I am/feel, so I'm hoping I will soon be diagnosed and get help with it so I can get back on track. All in all, so many single moms go through the same thing and grow tired of hearing the phrase "Hang in there, things will get better!", and "You're such a good mom and so strong, you are a good role model for that!" and all those nice and supportive things people say, that just really don't help in the moment, when we need real solutions, and real solid help. So.. if anyone needs not just a shoulder or an ear to listen, but someone to try and THINK of a way to make things better... let me know. I'm trying to find a PRO-ACTIVE support group for single mothers who are struggling. Good luck to all of you!! Hi, I’m also April (read another post by a mom named April). I can relate to a few of the posts for sure. I am a single mom of a 5 year old beautiful girl (been just me and her for 3 years, except a live-in boyfriend at one point but it didn’t end up working out so back to single), and I am trying to reach out and find other single moms who are going through the same things. I work full-time Mon-Fri, 9-5 (administrative assistant) but barely make enough to pay rent and basic necessities.

I have been struggling for years and live with daily frustration, feeling overwhelmed, and uncertain of how to get ahead..uncertain as to how to start living instead of surviving, has taken it’s toll on me. I hide my tears from my daughter, smiling the usual fake smile that only turns real when she does something funny, cute, or sweet, or loving and squeezes me tight and says she loves me, reminding me why I love her so much.

I am in a boring job I hate but I have to stay because of the benefits. I have no family close by (20 hours drive away!), and my friends I have are great but they either cannot help due to their own family issues, or they also live too far. The stress of work/commuting an hour each way on a JAM-packed subway/bus each day is increasingly causing me to grow bitter. I struggle with trying to keep up with rushing to pick her up from daycare (often late which means $1 every minute late), cooking dinners, preparing meals/snacks for lunch, bathtime, bedtime routines, then cleaning up/dealing with stressful bill paying, calling family/friends who are far away to keep in touch (or emailing when my computer works!), and trying to force myself to go to bed early (can’t sleep due to stress/worrying/frustration/overwhelmed) and doing it all over again. I get every other weekend free when she is at her dad’s (who doesn’t pay child support, and who won’t sign the custody agreement so I have to pay the lawyer $ to fight that in court now!) and although I appreciate those free weekends, I usually spend it calling people to see if they are free to do something fun (they are usually busy!) so I instead spend it doing what I do during the week..cleaning, playing on the computer or grocery shopping etc.

I just realized I have Adult ADHD and it explains a lot about how I am/feel, so I’m hoping I will soon be diagnosed and get help with it so I can get back on track. All in all, so many single moms go through the same thing and grow tired of hearing the phrase “Hang in there, things will get better!”, and “You’re such a good mom and so strong, you are a good role model for that!” and all those nice and supportive things people say, that just really don’t help in the moment, when we need real solutions, and real solid help.

So.. if anyone needs not just a shoulder or an ear to listen, but someone to try and THINK of a way to make things better… let me know. I’m trying to find a PRO-ACTIVE support group for single mothers who are struggling. Good luck to all of you!!

]]> By: Catherine Whalen http://raisetheirvoice.com/30-days-of-prayer-for-the-voiceless/single-mothers/comment-page-1#comment-38 Catherine Whalen Sun, 07 Sep 2008 05:09:37 +0000 http://raisetheirvoice.wordpress.com/the-issues/single-mothers/#comment-38 I am a single mom of a great 10 year old boy. I did not choose this life for him or me either. We are truely by ourselves with family 400 miles away. Some days can be so hard and it seems no one around us has a clue. Other parents comment what a good parent I am and how strong I am, and then they complain about how hard their life is taking care of a child. I don't complain - would not want to subject my child to that, but some days are SO hard! I have no time for a social life and wouldn't know how to even begin to socialize anymore. My son does great in school and is well behaved, but he has no men in his life... no role model. The neighbors & acquaintances who know my situation never offer to shoot a few hoops, talk sports, or anything. Some days when I'm overwhelmed and find myself fussing at him I think he would be better if I let his uncle raise him. But then I can't imagine not seeing him. I just hope I'm doing what's best - and it's hard to know when you're alone! Hang in there single parents - it is hard, but our children are worth it! Thanks for listening. I am a single mom of a great 10 year old boy. I did not choose this life for him or me either. We are truely by ourselves with family 400 miles away. Some days can be so hard and it seems no one around us has a clue. Other parents comment what a good parent I am and how strong I am, and then they complain about how hard their life is taking care of a child. I don’t complain – would not want to subject my child to that, but some days are SO hard! I have no time for a social life and wouldn’t know how to even begin to socialize anymore. My son does great in school and is well behaved, but he has no men in his life… no role model. The neighbors & acquaintances who know my situation never offer to shoot a few hoops, talk sports, or anything. Some days when I’m overwhelmed and find myself fussing at him I think he would be better if I let his uncle raise him. But then I can’t imagine not seeing him. I just hope I’m doing what’s best – and it’s hard to know when you’re alone! Hang in there single parents – it is hard, but our children are worth it! Thanks for listening.

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]]> By: Danielle Johnson http://raisetheirvoice.com/30-days-of-prayer-for-the-voiceless/single-mothers/comment-page-1#comment-41 Danielle Johnson Sun, 24 Aug 2008 07:13:47 +0000 http://raisetheirvoice.wordpress.com/the-issues/single-mothers/#comment-41 I am a single mom of 3 children. I didn't choose this lifestyle. It is not what I dreamed of my life. I want to do the best for my children from 2-11. However, I am so overwhelmed I am not sure what I am doing anymore. I work full time and try to balance work, 3 kids wanting your attention, dinner and after school activities. All the single moms know when they are sick you miss work ect ect. I feel guilty much of the time. I have no support and no family near by. I also have no time to build real friendships. Dont get me wrong I have friends and family but they live far away. I am not sure what to do anymore. I want my children to grow up and be able to have a heathy relationship, but how can they do that if they have no role model...there goes that guilt thing again. I guess I would love to know how to balance it all and still enjoy life??? I want to be a great mom, but I am a mess!!! How can I raise 3 kids when I cant even raise myself??? I am feeling very overwhelmed and I was wondering if there was anyone else in my position that can give a girl some motivation? I am a single mom of 3 children. I didn’t choose this lifestyle. It is not what I dreamed of my life. I want to do the best for my children from 2-11. However, I am so overwhelmed I am not sure what I am doing anymore. I work full time and try to balance work, 3 kids wanting your attention, dinner and after school activities. All the single moms know when they are sick you miss work ect ect. I feel guilty much of the time. I have no support and no family near by. I also have no time to build real friendships. Dont get me wrong I have friends and family but they live far away. I am not sure what to do anymore. I want my children to grow up and be able to have a heathy relationship, but how can they do that if they have no role model…there goes that guilt thing again. I guess I would love to know how to balance it all and still enjoy life??? I want to be a great mom, but I am a mess!!! How can I raise 3 kids when I cant even raise myself??? I am feeling very overwhelmed and I was wondering if there was anyone else in my position that can give a girl some motivation?

]]> By: Paul Kauffman http://raisetheirvoice.com/30-days-of-prayer-for-the-voiceless/single-mothers/comment-page-1#comment-39 Paul Kauffman Sun, 02 Sep 2007 10:01:52 +0000 http://raisetheirvoice.wordpress.com/the-issues/single-mothers/#comment-39 Thank you for sharing information and stories of single moms. Thank you for sharing information and stories of single moms.

]]> By: April Hall http://raisetheirvoice.com/30-days-of-prayer-for-the-voiceless/single-mothers/comment-page-1#comment-40 April Hall Tue, 17 Jul 2007 05:55:22 +0000 http://raisetheirvoice.wordpress.com/the-issues/single-mothers/#comment-40 Hi, I'm April and I too often wish there was more help for single mothers. I am a single mother of three children, ranging from the ages of 7 years old to 9 months old. I have no family support and minimal friendship support I battle with depression on an hour by hour session. I believe single parenthood is an issue that should definitely be addressed a lot of mothers in this world are in desperate need. Hi, I’m April and I too often wish there was more help for single mothers. I am a single mother of three children, ranging from the ages of 7 years old to 9 months old. I have no family support and minimal friendship support I battle with depression on an hour by hour session. I believe single parenthood is an issue that should definitely be addressed a lot of mothers in this world are in desperate need.

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